I'm only human , who dreams has been crushed ...
I first went in to this school , this course which everyone around me knew , that i'm struggling , with 0% interest or should i even say negative 100% interest in it , I hate it so much that i would rather be lying in the hospital , with people around me praying days and nights for me to wake up , or just move my fingers , then go to school . That's how much i hate it . Yeah , i know there's people out there who would think that i'm selfish for wishing something like this happens , but just imagine , being forced to study the subjects that you hate every single days , and there's no way out , how would you feel ? Let's take it as you hate science ( just an example , if you love science , replace this with your most hated subject ) , and you're forced to study science related topics every single day .
Now , i'm graduating soon , in march or april which i'm glad , Because it's basically a living hell for me , and i thought , that i could do what i love after this , now guess what ? It's crushed .. once again ..
Someone please tell me what is dreams , when people around you is slowly craving you into becoming a robot , with no feelings , no love , no hates , no angers , no dreams . Jackson from got7 instagram says " Never give up on your dreams no matter what " But how ? When people around won't listen to anything else , except money . Even if i says that the dreams i want and the course i had decided to go , do have a future , and the pays is quite nice , they still wouldn't listen and force me to study what i hate ? I'm only humans , not a robot . Stop ....
What's the point of living , when you're slowly becoming a robot ? What's the point of living , when you can't do what you love ? For even a short period ? What's the point of living , when your emotions are slowly fading?, what's the point of living , when deep down inside , you don't feel anything anymore ? What's the point of living , when your dreams and goals are always being crushed ....
I'm not killing myself , don't worry , I would still be alive , even though this sounds like a suicide letter , I'm not angry too , i'm just disappointed how everyone around me wouldn't care whether my smile is real .... especially the ones that i care about the most ....
I'm only human....
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But now .. it seems that , i'm slowly turning emotionless ....