Family

Because my parents are busy with work ,
and my brothers are busy with their studies , I'm used to being alone at home at a young age .
When I was in primary school ,
I used to be able to see my mum with her bicycle waiting for me outside of the school gate ,
but when primary 3 starts , it stop .
No nothing happened to her , she's healthy and well ,
she just got busy , at the start I would be jealous of people waiting for their parents , jumping up to them when they arrived .
But that doesn't bother me much , I have friends to go home together with ,
 I love to challenge myself ,
 I would walk on high places , running down the hill ( and yes this cause me to have an accident which lead to my right  eye sight to become really bad ) ,
At that part of  times , if someone ever tell me "you can't do it" I would do it
. I would try and try so many times , until I finally did it . My motto last time was "nothing is impossible as long as you tried hard enough , giving up isn't an excuse"
I wasn't those typical girl you know , that love dolls , dancing at that time ,
my mum signed me up for Chinese dance before ,
and I quit due to lack of interest , instead , I took up wushu when I was in primary school as my CCA , as I know as a girl , it's important for me to know some self defense . but sadly ,
my dad force me to quit after the first day as he doesn't want me to grow up as a rough girl . ( well I'm still kinda rough tho ) . So that don't really work , the only thing that I like which is gentle is reading and drawing .

As I grow , I started to develop interest in fashion , makeup ,
and I swear I could see the look of joy when my parents find out that I have interest in these .
I bet they must be thinking "finally she isn't so rough anymore"
And I could see the face of my mum changes when I ask her whether I could get myself a sandbag and boxing gloves .
But she agreed to get me those , but I have to save up myself .

I didn't really change much,
Just that I grow up to be someone , who wouldn't care much about proving others that I can do what they said I can't anymore .
I got lazy
I start to think "what's the point ?"
I stop defending myself
I just let people to say what they want to say
I mean , I can't really do anything right ? They have their rights to say whatever they want
It's their mouth and brain in the end .
But when someone start to insult my friends / families , that's when I would start to defend them
Trust me , there are times where I would go
"I hate my mum" , "I hate my brother" etc , but at the end of the day ,
They are still my family , they are still those people I wouldn't mind dying for .

There are times where we fight
There are times where we have cold wars
There are times where the insults got too far
There are times where the jokes are too hurtful
There are times where there's laughter
There are times where there's quarrel
There are times where we just disagree with each other
But in the end , family are important , nothing and no one else could replace them 

So treasure them . Because nothing last forever , they are gonna leave you one day .
And this why , I hate death . 

TMI ( too much information ) tag !

Okay so I was tag by my friends so yup , this is the TMI tag ! 

1) where were you 3 hours ago ?

Town area especially 313 and scape 

 

2) confession 

When I get nervous , I tend to feel like fainting , and there cases that I REALLY faint 

3) any bad habits ?

I bite my nails to the point that it would bleed sometimes . I tried the way of putting nail polish but I just end up bitting it , and when I realize , my nails has already been bitten off by me 

4) addiction 

I'm addicted to my phone I guess ? I will freak out if I didn't have my phone beside me for 5 minutes , and I will most probably be rude to you if you take my phone away without my permission 

5) who is your favorite YouTuber ? 

HAHAHA OKAY 

For Singapore one 

first - Jianhao 

Second - Ridhwan 

Third - danial Ron 

International 

First - NinkComPoop 

Second - Ryan Higa 

Third - Smosh 

6) give a song lyrics to someone who cut ?

"I know your heart is hurting , you think the road has end , you may think the blade you're holding is your only friend , but baby don't cut , baby don't cut , baby promise me that you won't cut" 

7) ideal type of guy 

Someone who is matured , funny , caring and know what they want 

8) what is the food that you can eat forever without getting sick of it ?

Fries . 

9) meaning behind your blog name ?

It's just my name . 

10) turn off ?

Rude people 

11) turn on ?

Guys that make me laugh / guy who have a little muscle but not too much , just look fit 

12) makeup routine 

holy shit .. Okay don't judge me 

( I put my contact lens on before my makeup )

First - primer 

Second - liquid foundation 

Third - powder foundation ( close to my skin tone )

Four - concealer to conceal my dark circles and some redness on the cheek 

Fifth - powder 

Sixth - eyeliner 

Seven - eyeshadow ( optional )

Eighth - contour and highlight 

Ninth - lip balm / lipstick ( optional )

13 ) how long does it take for me to complete my makeup ?

15 minutes ? 

14 ) favorite quote 

Fuck society idea of beauty 

15 ) special things that you like ?

I don't find it special but I like skeletons , skulls , blood 

16 ) any special ability ?

I used to be able to see ghost, and I used to have many cases of me seeing them , but now I can't see them , just that I can sense them and hear them sometimes 

17 ) fears 

I have a really weird fear , I'm really afraid of wigs 

18 ) loud music or soft music ?

Loud . 

19 ) something you miss ?

The times where my clique were close , we hang out everyday and fangirl together 

20 ) how tall are you ? 

161 

 

21 ) what's your weight ?

Overweight and I'm on my way of losing my weight ! My idea weight is like 50 kg !

22 ) What would you do when you're sad ?

I would hurt myself by pinching / punch the wall until my knuckles are all red or bleed  . Yes it's stupid but it make me feel better . 

23 ) favorite bands

Black veil brides , 5 second of summer

24 ) things that you're proud of ?

I had completely stopped cutting , yes I used to cut , but I'm still suicidal . 

Okay , I shall end it here ! 

Thanks for reading ^^ 

Carousell shop + grab bag reviews , most favorite jacket from now on

So if you read my blog , you would have know that I shop online pretty often and the apps I go to the most is carousell . And if you don't , you do now .  

The reason why I prefer carousell is because , I don't really like waiting for items and if I could find the stuff I want and get it today or the next day , why not ? But sure , I do buy preorder items too ! I don't like bargaining , I believe in "getting the quality base on how much you pay for it ."一分钱一分货” in Chinese . And now I'm gonna do a reviews on a carousell shop ! 

So first before I start to do this reviews , I would want to declare that this isn't sponsored , I did not get any money or anything good from this and everything that I said here will be truthful . And by that I mean by if it's good , it's good . If it's bad , I will say it out too . 

So I got a whatsapp from the owner like around 2 weeks ago , asking me whether I would be interested to get a GrabBag from them and since I didn't try GrabBag before I thought , why not . Oh and let me introduce the carousell shop to you , she is *drumroll * Shopmehgees ! 

  The owner are really patient and polite ! The first time I brought something from her and I actually asked for meet up but because of some sudden reason , I change to mailing ! I thought that she will be angry because I think that I made her prepared to go out then suddenly change to mailing ! End up she told me that it's fine ! 

So this is what I got in the grab bag

And there's one more but I have no idea where I put it but it was my Ootd few days ago so 

yup ! It's the red / orange red sleeveless shirt / blouse or whatever you call it ! 

So yeah , if you are like browsing carousell just like I do , check out this shop ! I don't usually buy things from online shop second time , I'm those type of customer that only visit and buy one time and then disappear . But this one different case ! And that prove how good it is ! 

Oh and this is my current most favorite jacket now ! 

The first time I saw this at bugis I was like "OMG I have to get this" I'm a girl who like unique stuff and I find this really unique , I mean it have eyeball on a camo design jacket HOW NICE CAN IT POSSIBLE BE

And most of the time I have this experience with liking something and then when I see the back of it I'm like "ok never mind" , the design at the back just sucks , and then there cases which is almost every time , the price is "nicer" then the shirt itself . And by that I mean it's too expensive . 

And guess what ?  This is how the back of the jacket looks like 

NOW NOW , how can I say no to this ? So I asked the shop owner and she said it was $25 and I was left with like $20 and I have to eat also okay ! Then she saw that my face was like sad and she just said "I will give it to you for $15 since it's the last piece already" I swear my mood just went from hell to heaven ! And yup I got it !  

 

This is suppose to be a lifestyle blog , but it seem more like a emotional blog . Don't worry , I'm random . I blog about almost anything . 

My blog is the only place that I feel safe to said out my feelings , I can't said it on anywhere else . People around me would get offended even if that post isn't for them . 

It's funny how people always say "just be yourself" and when you really did be yourself ? They start talking bad about you . Judging you . 

It just seems that their "just be yourself" is to be "who they want you to be" . It's really bullshit don't you think ? 

And do realize that words hurt . It actually hurt more then anything . Physical pain can heal in weeks or months , but words hurt people mentally , and that pain will stay that forever . Even 10 years down the road , the memories would still be back and what you said before may pierce their heart once again . 

And nothing hurt more then seeing your crush having a girlfriend / boyfriend . That feeling of heartbreak but you just can't let anyone know . Faking a smile in front of your crush , wishing that their love would last while you secretly hoping that the girl / boy would treat them right , because seeing them smile is enough for you . I know people always say that the more you avoid someone , you would feel hurt . But what if the situation isn't like that ? What if not being able to see him / her is better that way ? Because they would always go out together and seeing them with someone else is just a living hell . Don't get me wrong , I don't have a crush . At least not for now .