And no it's not because of the society , but because of myself . Everyone have their own personal views on how a person should look like and it would be consider beautiful . Although we always says that looks doesn't matter , it's the personality that counts . But in the end looks still counts isn't it ? No one is able to know which girl or boy is the good one and which one is the bad one , we judge them by their looks , or somehow like first impression . Many would tell me that I'm pretty enough , but honestly I feel that I'm the ugliest on earth , I would often look in the mirror with my naked face and be like , why do I have so many pimples . Why am I so fat .. Having low self esteem really sucks a lot . I wish I could be more confident in my looks .
And this slowly leads down to me being really anti social and distance myself from everyone . It's like everyone is so pretty , who would want to be friends with someone so ugly like me ? And even if they did , I'm sure they're gonna leave . What's the point of getting close to someone , opening up to them and only thing in return , is they turning their back to you and pretend that both of you wasn't friends at all in the first place ? But I'm really glad that I have friends that's still with me after so long
Other then looks , there's body figure . And again , my body figure is not up to my personal expectation too . Working hard to get the figure I desire is what I'm doing now , I just hope the hard work would pay off soon.
You know I'm really jealous of those who doesn't have low self esteem and is able to just be confident and bah bah bah , but for me it's impossible . I don't even know how some could be able to hold a mic and speak to a really big crowd . If it's for me I would most probably cry .
And just so you know , you're beautiful , even with those scars covering up your arms and thighs , even if those burn mark on your skin , and when with those pimples . You're beautiful just the way you are . I may have a horrible low self esteem , but I don't wish anyone else to feel like this too .
Just remember , if you want others to love you , first you have to learn to love yourself . At least try your best to love yourself . Everyone have their own imperfection , insecurities , flaws and everything , but that's what make us unique . We're all one of a kind , if everyone look the same , wouldn't it be boring ? I know I'm not qualify ( I'm not sure if I spell it right ) to actually say this but yeah please get what I said to your head .
And you may think you need a perfect guy to make your life perfect , actually you don't . What you need is someone who's able to accept your flaws , insecurities , scars just everything . Seen you without make up , sees you with all your insecurities and still kiss you on the forehead and tell you that you're beautiful
. Don't find a perfect guy , instead find a normal guy who will make your life perfect .
Thanks for reading :)